A day in the month of January, 3:40 pm. I cross the village square on a cold afternoon with a fine ray of sun cutting through the air. I raise my eyes and read a large printed sign, stenciled on a long white wall: "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God’s." I adjust the coat to my body as if I adjust the content of the phrase to my thoughts. What shall I give to Caesar? A past which I have not seen and known? But the implicit words make me reflect: give to God what is God's. It is always like this: moments of crossing, flooded streets, moonlit nights, the temperature doesn’t make a difference, these phrases potentiate in my mind, in my thoughts.
I live as if divided into opposing but intimately intertwined natures.
Shall I make a choice?
Do I know this God who so imperiously speaks within me? So, what should I give to God?
It is interesting that I feel moved by these two orders of thought that impose themselves on my being. I am somewhat lost in this evaluation with which my being identifies itself: at times with the exterior, Caesar; at times with the interior, God.
I thus raise and regain myself from these "ramblings".
I realize that my subconscious also has two faces; that my intellectual consciousness also has two understandings.
- How to obtain the correct perception of this instruction?
I deepen the search within me. Going deeper and deeper! Do I investigate the search for an original memory? Is it possible that there is a permanent record, a reminiscence of everything that gave rise to life? To me? To the world?
Light, in liquid form, runs through my brain, my veins, my spine. Is it me the meaning of life?
Thoughts, analyses, judgments, comparisons. Are these two orders of nature so distant from each other and misunderstood?
But they are in me ... I dwell on the past within me. These differences exist in my deepest being. Distant, different, separated and troubled together.
Whom do I turn to in my hours of distress, sorrow, and isolation? I talk to myself and I get answers ... "What was old has passed; behold, I make all things new. "
But it was not always like this.
Have I changed my perception of the world or of myself?
I remain distant from galaxies, but my conscience tells me that I am being heard. Near or far, who helps me in these hours of introspection? Are they responses of this natural order or of a divine order?
I realize, then, that in addition to my physical being, there is a being of another construction, another archetype that I need to know, with which I need to relate to, to be more closely involved with. After all, we are two, two in one. One being.