It's like in an adventure novel, in which “evil ones” fight against “good ones” – that's how I had experienced my workplace a few months ago. Sincere, authentic leaders were fired ... To whom were they uncomfortable? Whose goals were they hindering? A company in today's economic system can only increase its share price, otherwise there will be interventions. Money comes first.
I said to myself: Honesty is the best policy, the good will prevail, lies will be unmasked. I did everything I could to create my own world at work – with optimism, trying not to be infected by negative thoughts. Why should I listen to the doubting voices of colleagues and clients? Why should I let myself be influenced by the constant worries and musings about employee turnover, dismissals, short-term hiring of freelancers, auxiliary staff provided by outside companies, the ever-changing faces and rumours that the company might close? Why should I let myself be dragged down by people who attacked me personally?
No, I decided: I stay true to myself, live my life, do my work, take care of what is necessary and try to stay in touch with the balanced, always radiant people. Weren’t we told: it takes resilience, stamina in the workplace?
Let love shine through. This is the food that people need. Spread confidence and optimism, but not fear. Then the right, the good basic mood of the residents, the employees and the managers of the nursing home is created. Being a bridge to everyone, to the management of the residence as well as to the cleaning staff, being a bridge to the seniors, to their hearts … And at the same time integrate into the community of colleagues ...
Why are we the way we are?
These were my good intentions and efforts. But imperceptibly there was inner suffering. Why are we the way we are? Why are there these misunderstandings, the gross, the hurtful? A "pit of vulnerability" opened up in me, a wound that remained open. Everything directed against me was deposited there, and many other things in addition. I began to sink down into misunderstandings. A burnout was imminent. Objective perception was no longer possible for me, desperation took hold of me. I was put on sick leave.
And so I had time to reflect and talk to friends. They had a more healing effect than psychotherapy could have had. Stays in nature gave me strength. I pondered about the rising vibration – often people think they don't have enough time anymore – and the resulting nervousness, growing aggression and increasing anxiety.
Everything calls for pause. We need the intuition about our being, about our task in the world, about the path that is given up to us. Albert Einstein said: "Intuition is a divine gift, the thinking mind a faithful servant. It's a paradox that nowadays we have begun to worship the servant and desecrate the divine gift." But what if the divine gift is missing? Then only the servant remains.
My innermost, untouchable self was stirring within me. Something that is not accessible to others, not visible to anyone, actually not even to myself. Something within me, protected, enclosed within me like a pearl, deeply moving me. – I experienced something of the most precious in me.
To pause and find it, to sense it, to focus on it, to gradually become connected with my centre, that seemed to me now to be the real adventure. To experience in the midst of a turbulent life the relationship to the still, to experience the hub at the edge of the ever faster turning wheel, the silence in the midst of the noise; this is what opened up to me as a possibility. The silence in which the divine can be experienced, the inexpressible.
My crisis awakened the conviction that all the adventurous chaos takes place against the background of a sacred order in which good and evil dissolve into the “exclusively good”. The daily adventure is embedded in cosmic peace.