Seeking, Longing.

Seeking

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It could be argued that seeking is a fundamental expression of existence for the human being of this world.  But if so, what exactly are we seeking as human beings?  Is it social status, wealth, fame, power, longevity, etc?  And does our seeking blindly follow the norms of this world, its expectations.  Are we driven to follow such goals without question, basing our actions on the popular saying, ‘the end justifies the means’?  Each of us must of course, answer such questions for ourselves, and this in itself is a matter for serious consideration.

For some of us there is a different kind of seeking. It starts with a feeling like a vague longing, a constant  disatisfaction with life in general, a quiet but unappeased heartache, a distant memory of something lost.  Driven by such longing, we seek values beyond those superficial elements mentioned, and we look for Truth, Wisdom, Justice, Love.  And of course, we try our best to find them.  And so we seek through those avenues that will introduce us to what does not immediately belong to this world – we investigate religious philosophies, we might follow spiritual leaders, we associate with esoteric movements.  These delve into the mysteries of this world, and we are drawn to the promise of eternal life, to follow religious pursuits that offers us a higher state of existence, a life that stands above the transience and emptiness of this world.

Without argument, these pursuits can develop a certain hightened rational and moral state, but do they lift us out of our current situation, do they make us better people?  Are the eternal values we long for actually realised through such endeavours?  Of course we all have an opinion on this. 

There are many spiritual movements that promise us the development of our higher faculties, our higher abilities, the mastering of the mind for instance through meditative practices, or the attainment of cosmic consciousness, etc.  It may even happen that the individual following such a path will experience moments of ‘illumination’, out of body experiences, or a form of hightened awareness, etc.  But the seeker will also realise that he/she remains mortal, the life has not become eternal but remains transient, and all experiences will gradually fade into forgetfulness.  The impermanent nature of this world will always assert itself. The fleeting moments of satisfaction we may feel will pass, but the vague longing of the heart remains.  So what is the solution to this inner dilema?

Many of us are standing at a crossroad.  Through our seeking by means of what this world offers, we have been brought to a barrier, a boarder, and this path has lost its promise, its allure, and our experience shows us that this world cannot satisfy our deepest longing.  All external authorities have lost their power over us, but we are still left with an unappeased longing.  But this path is not all loss, for a deeper insight has also grown, an insight that leads us forward through the labyrinth of the worlds delusions.  At a certain moment the longing of our tortured heart is answered, and we are faced with something unexpected, something completely different from what we imagined.

It is a teaching that tells us that our guide lies within ourselves, that a spiritual school is there to primarily offer direction and spiritual support, and everyone must walk their own path, at their own pace, in full self awareness.  This inner path leads to the awakening of a new being within us, a spiritual soul originating from a higher reality, and that if we wish to progress on this path we must, as persons of this nature, surrender to this higher being and merge with it.

It may be that this reality is so different from our expectations that we can feel as if something inside us rebels against it, refuses to accept it.  We could spend many years avoiding the reality of this path because of this inner resistance.  It can be that we find ourselves nearing the end of our life, and in reflection we see that we have not made use of the opportunities given to us, and we see this path as if still off in the distance, like a vague promise. 

Yet as we struggle against this resistance, still that longing does not let us rest, but drives us to take the next step.   Will it be on a path offered by such a spiritual school?  And where does the quiet voice that leads us, that vague longing driving us through life, come from?  Everyone must answer these questions for themselves, and follow their heart on this life-long journey.

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